This is a little bit of a silly title today but I wanted to break the ice on what can be a serious topic.
A few weeks ago I wrote about what we can do to combat those internal feelings of not being good enough but what happens if the negativity or criticism is actually coming from those around us? Maybe it’s coming from partners, parents, children or friends.
One of the things I always advocate, is that life is short so we owe it to ourselves to spend time doing what we love. If there is a passion you have always wanted to pursue, whether just for enjoyment or as part of a career or business then why not go after it? Want to learn to dance, write a book, set up a cafe, become a landscape gardener or anything else that has always been a part of how you see yourself, then it’s never too late to go after what you want.
However, when we decide to pursue something that is important to us that doesn’t mean that everyone around us is going to be happy about it. Maybe they feel threatened; perhaps they image you or your relationship with them is going to change; it’s possible they are a teensy bit jealous you are taking the first step towards fulfilling one of your dreams; it could be they are trying to protect you in case things don’t turn out as you hope; or maybe they are just worried about finances if you are stepping away from a job and setting up a business.
I don’t have the answers to all these scenarios but here are some points I think it’s important to remember when you are experiencing other people’s (and people that matter to you) negativity.
1.You Have The Right To Go After Your Dreams
Pursuing something for you doesn’t make you a worse mother, daughter, partner or friend (same applies for men). In fact, feeling fulfilled is going to make you happier over the long run. Much of our lives we can spend damping down what we really want to do out of a sense of duty, but putting yourself first doesn’t make you a selfish person. I think many of us don’t feel we have the right to be happy, but remember what I said earlier, life is short and the fewer regrets we have the better.
2.Deal With the Practical
If your loved one is worried about something practical like money then do all can to alleviate their fears. Maybe follow your passion as a sideline while you work full-time and only go full-time with it after you have saved up enough income to keep you afloat for 6 to 12 months. If it’s more that they are worried you will have less time for them, try to reassure them that won’t be the case. However, sometimes the best way to show someone something is to actually do it i.e. the proof is in the pudding.
3. Negative Talk
Sometimes the person will just be negative for the sake of it and this is often a difficult one because ultimately we want to feel cared for, supported and that people believe in us. Some people will say you should cut these people out of your lives and there may be a case for this if the relationship/friendship as a whole is a toxic one. But largely I don’t go along with this, as these are often family members and you don’t need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Instead you might need to develop a thick skin and where possible let things wash over you. Sometimes it’s not even worth arguing with the person, instead keep your focus on what you want to achieve and let your results speak for themselves.
4. Get Support
If some of the people closest to you are not that supportive it’s best not to struggle on alone as that can feel very isolating. Seek out Facebook groups, local networking groups or even find a mastermind which can spur you on to reach your goals. If you need support when it comes to your business head to my free Facebook group Market Your Business With Joy.
Above all, don’t be swayed from your path. If your business or another big life goal is important to you it’s worth pursuing. People don’t always have to feel the same way about things as we do, but that shouldn’t deter us from following our path. I’ll leave you with the words of Wayne Dyer:
“What other people think of me is none of my business.”
Do you struggle with this issue or have you in the past? Leave a comment below telling us how you dealt with it or leave any tips for making life easier while you are going through it.